


why didn't you take me with you

by valikath



Category: Kill la Kill (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fuck Ragyo All My Homies Hate Ragyo, Kill La Kill Spoilers, Nonon is a good girlfriend, PTSD, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27700534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valikath/pseuds/valikath
Summary: Why did you only take Ryuko?Satsuki felt tears begin to run down her cheeks and just let them fall, allowing the shower to wash them down the drain.
Relationships: Jakuzure Nonon/Kiryuuin Satsuki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	why didn't you take me with you

**Author's Note:**

> this does contain spoilers from the Kill la Kill ending so if you haven't finished it you uhhh might not wanna read this unless you don't care then have fun!! :))

_Why didn’t you take me with you._

The words echoed in Satsuki’s mind as the scalding hot water from the shower continued to fall around her. She stared blankly at the white shower wall, clouds of steam forming and shifting around her as her mind drifted further and further away. In the back of her mind Satsuki noted that the water was almost unbearably hot now, but she couldn’t bring herself to move and shut the water off. Her back and arms were burning from the heat, the sting only worsening the longer she stood under the water. Satsuki’s limbs felt like they were made of cement and she didn’t have the strength to force herself to move. 

_Dad..._ Satsuki gritted her teeth, her chest tightened at the thought of her father and she let out a staggering breath which only added to the ever shifting cloud of steam around her. 

_Why didn’t you take me with you._

Her throat felt like it was closing up, like no noise would be able to come out of it even if Satsuki wanted to. Her bottom lip wobbled and Satsuki took another unsteady breath before she gritted her teeth, trying to shove her emotions down as deep as she could, the way she always had. She felt her fingernails digging into the palm of her hand painfully. They were getting too long and Satsuki felt the sudden urge to bite her nails to suppress the overwhelming surge of emotions. 

Her father, who she thought was dead for all those years…

 _He is dead._ A voice in the back of her mind painfully reminded her and Satsuki just squeezed her fist even tighter, her nails digging even deeper into the wrinkled skin of her palms. _But he wasn’t… for all those years he was **so close.**_ It would have been so easy for Satsuki to go to him, if only she had known he was right there. 

Her chest felt impossibly tight now and she was struggling to breath in the humid air of the bathroom. 

_Why didn’t you take me with you? Why did you only take Ryuko?_ Satsuki felt tears begin to run down her cheeks and just let them fall, allowing the shower to wash them down the drain. 

_Ryuko... Her little sister...._

Satsuki felt something similar to jealousy bubble up in her chest, jealousy at the fact that Ryuko was the one he took. Jealousy at the fact that Ryuko was able to have a completely Ragyo-free childhood (almost). 

_Why didn’t you take us both._ Her heart clenched in her chest at the thought, the thought of growing up with her father and Ryuko, a childhood free of Ragyo.

 _We could have been a real family_. Satsuki did her best to force down the sob that was currently trying to claw its way out of her chest. 

There was a loud bang on the bathroom door, Satsuki’s eyes widened and her heart raced in her chest. “Satsuki!!” Nonon’s familiar, high-pitched voice called out “Are you okay??” Relieved, Satsuki let out the breath she had been holding and closed her eyes. 

“Satsuki!!” She shouted, concern evident in her voice. Satsuki slowly opened her eyes and took in her surroundings. The steam from the shower was so thick now it was surprising that she could still breath, the skin on her back still burned from the steaming hot water, and her palms stung where she had dug her nails deep into the skin. She opened her mouth to say something back to the girl on the other side of the door. No sound came out of her mouth and Satsuki just stared blankly at the plain, white walls of the shower. 

Out of the corner of her eye Satsuki noticed the door opening slowly to reveal Nonon (the shower glass didn’t allow Satsuki to her clearly, but she would recognize that soft pink hair anywhere). Nonon slowly pulled the shower door back just enough to see the taller girl, Satsuki felt some of her tension slip away at the sight of her worried girlfriend. Nonon’s pink hair was in a messy bun and her bangs were disheveled from sleeping and laying around all day, concern evident in her usually bright eyes. 

“Satsuki?” She asked tentatively, fingers gripping the shower door, “You okay?” Anybody else would have commented on how the softness in Nonon’s voice didn’t suit her usually loud and teasing tone. Satsuki wasn’t anybody else though and Nonon knew her better than anybody else ever would. 

Satsuki opened her mouth again to reply, no sound came out once again and Nonon gave her tall girlfriend a knowing look before she slid the shower door open some more. 

Nonon held her hands out for Satsuki to grab onto before quietly saying, “Want some help?” Satsuki felt relief at the shorter woman’s words, she took a wobbly breath before forcing her cement limbs to move. She didn’t even notice her hands were shaking until Nonon took hold of them, steadying Satsuki with her firm grip. 

“C’mon let’s get out of here, I’m surprised you haven’t passed out from the humidity yet.” Nonon joked in an attempt to lighten the mood, Satsuki’s lips fell into a small smile at her girlfriend’s words. She let Nonon’s steady hands guide her out of the shower and wrap her in a towel. Her mind seemed quiet now that she was out of the shower; her thoughts of Ragyo, her father, and Ryuko had drifted to the back of her mind (they would be back, they never did stray too far from her mind). 

Zoning back in, Satsuki noticed that the sleeves of Nonon’s purple hoodie were damp, and that she could no longer hear the sound of the shower in the background. When did she cut the shower off? Satsuki thought to herself. 

“Jesus, your skin is so red, Satsuki.” Nonon frowned as she attempted to guide the taller woman out of the heated bathroom. “This is why we can never shower together, I’ll never understand how you can shower in scalding hot water like that.” 

Satsuki felt herself smile and a hum slipped out of her throat, though it still felt like it was someone else’s voice, someone else’s body moving. In Nonon’s bedroom, Nonon helped Satsuki dry off and get dressed, her steady movements allowing the dark-haired girl to slip into pajamas. 

With every slight, soothing touch from Nonon, Satsuki felt herself coming back. It felt like slowly regaining consciousness, like Satsuki was returning the controls of her own body after watching someone else take the wheel. Her arms and hands felt like hers; her head was muddled, but it was _hers_ , not Ragyo’s, hers and nobody else’s. Her body felt like hers again, no matter how temporary the feeling was. 

Satsuki took a deep breath in an attempt to steady herself, Nonon was less than a foot away changing out of her damp hoodie and into a dark green baggy t-shirt that Satsuki suspected wasn’t hers. She was wearing a pair of athletic shorts (her favorites to sleep in) and she had old, faded pink socks on her feet. Satsuki looked down at her own outfit, the dark blue shirt that was riddled with holes around the collar and was way too big for her, and the too-big baggy black sweatpants hanging off her hips. 

“Are these Sanageyama’s clothes?” Satsuki asked quietly, the raspiness in her voice surprising herself. Nonon snickered before turning around to smile smugly at the raven haired girl, “Yeah he left them on the living room floor, so their mine now.” 

“How so?” Satsuki quietly asked, a smile on her face as flopped down onto Nonon’s shitty little bed. Well as much as Satsuki could flop onto a bed, Ryuko always made the comment that everything Satsuki did was graceful (and how infuriating it was). 

“Finders keepers losers weepers” Nonon said proudly as she hopped into bed beside Satsuki, pulling the heavy sheets over them. 

Satsuki felt her eyes getting heavy, her whole body heavy with how tired she was. She felt Nonon scoot closer so they’re sides were touching and Satsuki laid her head on her shoulder. Nonon leaned her head against the top of Satsuki’s wet black hair, carding her thin fingers through the wet and tangled strands. 

“Satsuki?” She whispered. 

Satsuki hummed in response, unable to form words at the moment, but she had just enough energy to shift (impossibly) closer to Nonon, rolling over to bury her head in her shoulder. Satsuki was so warm, not like she was before. This was good warm, the kind of warm she associated with Nonon, the feeling of being safe. 

“I love you” She whispered before softly kissing the top of Satsuki’s head again, twirling a strand of black hair around her pale fingers. 

Satsuki smiled fondly and buried the blush on her face in the crook of Nonon’s neck. 

“I love you too.” Satsuki whispered back.

**Author's Note:**

> this hurt me so much to write why did i put myself through this???? satsuki and nonon are such a cute ship but satsuki and therapy?? *chefs kiss* even better. wanted to explore satsuki's character a bit and this started out as a Stream of Consciousness but at some point in the process it evolved into Hurt/Comfort akjdfksdjf. i hope you enjoyed it!!! (as much as you can with all that angst...... i'm so sorry) 
> 
> you can find me on tumblr @valikath if u want


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